by: Mick Jones
Are you dating online and not meeting the women you crave and would like to meet?
I know what you are going through and it can be a lonely place when you aren't getting the results you desire. In this situation you have to hang in there and never give up!
Tip #1
Test your replies from what you write in your first and second emails. Save your emails in a file and use the ones that get the most replies as templates...everyone is unique though.
Tip#2
You must comment on personal things she has written in her profile. To show you have made the effort to find out something about her.
And remember, nothing works 100% of the time.
I still scratch my head when a profile ignores my interest...and I match her criteria well...go figure.
I've just finished dating a lady and am back in the internet dating game...
And loving it...one thing about using online dating sites is that whenever you find yourself single, you can be comfortable in the knowledge that it is only a matter of time before you meet someone else.
Or just enjoy dating a few different ladies until you do...
It's the most efficient / effective way to date that I'm aware of...
There is a LOT of women using online dating sites. This is good news for us healthy single men who don’t like hanging out in smoky bars and clubs.
Attention!
I'm about to reveal a killer profile tip which I'm certain I've never revealed before.
I was aware of it but never really made the effort to use it.
As I was preparing a new profile name, photo and text to go back online, I decided to make the effort.
The results have been pretty darn good, and I've only been back online for four weeks or so!
It’s got the type of women I'm interested in meeting, to contact me straight away.
No messing about with virtual kisses and then me having to pay for the contact.
They contacted me and sent their mobile number with the email!
Yehaa! I like that… :-]
Are you ready, let’s look at it,
Here it is;
Men’s Killer Profile Tip!
When editing or making up your profile, pretend you are a copywriter.
By this I mean imagine you have been paid by a company to write a profile convincing a client to be interested in that company’s goods.
So to do that you need to tell the reader this;
'WHATS IN IT FOR THEM!'
Read profiles of men in your area and age group to scope out the competition.
Notice how often they use the word ' I.'
So you’ll see they are focusing on themselves, instead of the reader.
This is good for you, so that your profile will stand out from the crowd.
For example;
Instead of writing, 'I love going to the beach for a swim.'
Write it this way, 'Do you enjoy going to the beach for a walk and a swim?'
Subtle difference, but it works!
Instead of this, 'I like to cook.'
Write it, 'Do you like your man to cook for you while having a glass of wine together.’
Get the idea?
So why not edit your profile and delete as many ' I's ' as you can.
Or set up a new one on a different site and see the results...
You will notice the difference quickly.
Focus on what you think the type of women that interests YOU, would like to read and do.
I think you get the picture with this and I won't bother with endless examples.
This truly is a KILLER tip!
Try it out and good luck to you!
So instead of writing the word ‘I,’ rephrase it and use the word ‘you.’
Simple but effective and gets good results…
Until next time and more dating tips, keep smiling...
This articles quote;
‘There is always a way to succeed, if you are committed.'
All the best…
Regards
Mick Jones
Author
http://www.howtomeetwomenontheinternet.com
About The Author
Mick Jones
http://www.howtomeetwomenontheinternet.com
Mail to; editor@howtomeetwomenontheinternet.com
Mick Jones has cut his teeth at the front lines of the internet dating fields. After many wounds and battle scars Mick now has consistent success. Mick is convinced any man can too. To subscribe to his FREE weekly newsletter, click on the link above now.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
The Dating Box
by: Devlyn Steele
Weather you are actively dating or just getting back into dating, it is a world full of possibilities. However, most of us are creatures of habit and our patterns keep us in a dating box, searching for and dating the same types over and over.
Making contact online, you first have to find people that interest you by searching the dating website’s membership. Online the dating box is literal, as you have to fill in web forms to find potential dates. Most dating sites give you two ways to search – quick or advanced. Quick searches are just that – they’re small web forms that let you search based on just a few criteria, like location or age. Advanced searches are larger web forms that let you search using lots of more specific criteria, like hair color, eye color, education, body type and more.
Just remember that the more criteria that you use for your searches, the fewer results you’ll get. Searches are unforgiving – they’ll return exactly what you ask for. We call them “harsh numbers”. When you choose an age range of, let’s say, 30-39, the person who just turned 40 will not show up in the search results. If you want to find someone with light brown hair, those great dark brown haired people…like me…will be cast aside.
Also, many sites let you use keywords as part of the search criteria. This allows a search for words in a member’s profile that match your areas of interest. You can search specifically for words like “tennis”, “skiing”, or something else. This lets you be super-specific if you wish.
Although you want to find someone that attracts you and that you share things in common, don’t limit yourself to what you think is “your type”. After all, the “type” that you have gone for in the past might have not worked out. Think “outside your box”. What we often think is “our type” is the same person we have been chasing unsuccessfully, through one bad relationship after another, our whole life. Even if your type was a successful relationship in the past, you cannot repeat a relationship you once had with someone new. Unless you date outside your box you will never know if maybe someone different just might be your “type.”
When going over your wants, there is the numbers trap that we need to watch out for as well. Offline we often use the expression, “numbers don’t lie.” However the new culture of online dating, numbers often do lie.
For instance the harsh numbers of weight, height and age when in black and white may make a person appear unattractive to you online, who you would find very attractive offline.
When we meet people in person we don’t say,
How old are you?
How much do you weigh?
How tall are you?
How much money do you make?
In person someone may carry his or her height, weight or age off in a very attractive manner. But when you look at the numbers online you think too old, too heavy, too short, too tall etc and that simply may not be the case. You have the right to want what you want, but I tell you this so that you can allow yourself to look past the numbers and be more open.
If you’re not finding people that fit, try expanding your horizons. You are not making any long-term commitment when meeting people, so be open and meet more people and who you fall for might surprise you. So get out of your dating box and don’t restrict yourself. Allow the incredible opportunity of online dating to work for you. Contact and meet a lot of people and leave yourself open to the possibilities…
About The Author
As a life coach, Devlyn Steele has made helping people find ways to improve their lives his personal mission and passion. He is a public consultant, a private counselor, an author and creator of Tools To Life. He has hosted his own radio shows called "Tools To Life" and "Love beat" and has been a guest on over 150 various shows. You can read his articles and advice all over the internet. Devlyn has often been referred to as "America's Leading Life-Coach." For free E-books and more information visit DevlynSteele.com. Send Questions To: CoachSteele@ToolsToLife.com.
Weather you are actively dating or just getting back into dating, it is a world full of possibilities. However, most of us are creatures of habit and our patterns keep us in a dating box, searching for and dating the same types over and over.
Making contact online, you first have to find people that interest you by searching the dating website’s membership. Online the dating box is literal, as you have to fill in web forms to find potential dates. Most dating sites give you two ways to search – quick or advanced. Quick searches are just that – they’re small web forms that let you search based on just a few criteria, like location or age. Advanced searches are larger web forms that let you search using lots of more specific criteria, like hair color, eye color, education, body type and more.
Just remember that the more criteria that you use for your searches, the fewer results you’ll get. Searches are unforgiving – they’ll return exactly what you ask for. We call them “harsh numbers”. When you choose an age range of, let’s say, 30-39, the person who just turned 40 will not show up in the search results. If you want to find someone with light brown hair, those great dark brown haired people…like me…will be cast aside.
Also, many sites let you use keywords as part of the search criteria. This allows a search for words in a member’s profile that match your areas of interest. You can search specifically for words like “tennis”, “skiing”, or something else. This lets you be super-specific if you wish.
Although you want to find someone that attracts you and that you share things in common, don’t limit yourself to what you think is “your type”. After all, the “type” that you have gone for in the past might have not worked out. Think “outside your box”. What we often think is “our type” is the same person we have been chasing unsuccessfully, through one bad relationship after another, our whole life. Even if your type was a successful relationship in the past, you cannot repeat a relationship you once had with someone new. Unless you date outside your box you will never know if maybe someone different just might be your “type.”
When going over your wants, there is the numbers trap that we need to watch out for as well. Offline we often use the expression, “numbers don’t lie.” However the new culture of online dating, numbers often do lie.
For instance the harsh numbers of weight, height and age when in black and white may make a person appear unattractive to you online, who you would find very attractive offline.
When we meet people in person we don’t say,
How old are you?
How much do you weigh?
How tall are you?
How much money do you make?
In person someone may carry his or her height, weight or age off in a very attractive manner. But when you look at the numbers online you think too old, too heavy, too short, too tall etc and that simply may not be the case. You have the right to want what you want, but I tell you this so that you can allow yourself to look past the numbers and be more open.
If you’re not finding people that fit, try expanding your horizons. You are not making any long-term commitment when meeting people, so be open and meet more people and who you fall for might surprise you. So get out of your dating box and don’t restrict yourself. Allow the incredible opportunity of online dating to work for you. Contact and meet a lot of people and leave yourself open to the possibilities…
About The Author
As a life coach, Devlyn Steele has made helping people find ways to improve their lives his personal mission and passion. He is a public consultant, a private counselor, an author and creator of Tools To Life. He has hosted his own radio shows called "Tools To Life" and "Love beat" and has been a guest on over 150 various shows. You can read his articles and advice all over the internet. Devlyn has often been referred to as "America's Leading Life-Coach." For free E-books and more information visit DevlynSteele.com. Send Questions To: CoachSteele@ToolsToLife.com.
Dating a Non Christian
by: Tracy Jones
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14
Any way you look at it, dating can be tricky…especially when religion is involved. Being raised in a Christian home where tradition runs deep, you may find yourself in the midst of a major battle when your heart is given to someone with different beliefs. There is, of course, nothing wrong with dating a non-Christian, just keep in mind that you marry who you date. If this is understood, and you are truly willing to accept and deal with the repercussions, all the more power to you. All we suggest is that you consider a few things before jumping in.
What kind of dilemmas would you face in the future? Can a non-Christian help you spiritually, or will they gradually pull you down? It's easy to compromise your standards and beliefs in order to stay appealing to that person, but is that really being true to yourself? It shouldn't even be an option to alter everything you've based your life around because your beliefs have helped shape you into the person you are, the person that they fell for.
Then there's always the issue of children. What kind of foundation will their lives be built on? Would they be encouraged to attend church and live the principles that you live by, or will they be brought up in the middle of a constant tug-of-war? It general, it just seems to be easier on everyone, especially kids, when both parties follow the same rulebook. Then again, there are those occasional exceptions to the rule.
We've all heard different stories of Christians dating non-Christians who eventually do turn their lives to God. They later marry and have strong, happy relationships with values centered on Christ. Or, there are those couples that just don't let religion get in the way. Both are willing to compromise and let the other partner have their freedom to worship and live in a way that suits them. As promising as it sounds, though, it's not always realistic. Many couples involved in "dual-faith" relationships will find themselves buried in conflict and heartache at some point, causing them to break up or divorce.
It's to be expected that meeting new people, especially people that you're compatible with, is going to be challenging. But, consider carefully whether short-term gain is worth ending up with the wrong person. Falling in love is easy, but it's hard to imagine ever voluntarily walking away from the relationship because your partner's beliefs contradict your own.
The bottom line is that it's up to you who you date, because you're the navigator of your future. No matter who you end up with, you're bound to run into problems now and then. That just comes with the territory. From there, it's up to you what happens. You'll either choose to stick at it and work through the rough patches, or you'll decide it's too hard and back out. If it makes your decision any easier, just remember this advice: when a Christian and a non-Christian jump into a relationship, the scales are uneven and likely to tip! http://www.christianmingle.com/campaign.html?cat=link&src=articlecityCOM&adid=sitecat&newurl=index.html
About The Author
Tracy Jones was raised in a large and loving Christian family. As the president of her church’s youth program, Tracy was always very active in local and international ministries. Throughout school, she was a faithful member and treasurer of the local chapter of the Fellowship of Christian Athletes. Tracy graduated from Florida State University in 1987 and has earned 18 years of business experience. Since 1997 she has spent her career building business in the technology industry with Yahoo!, Inc. and was recently recruited by Spark Networks to build the online Christian community through the ChristianMingle personals service. http://www.christianmingle.com/campaign.html?cat=link&src=articlecityCOM&adid=sitecat&newurl=index.html
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14
Any way you look at it, dating can be tricky…especially when religion is involved. Being raised in a Christian home where tradition runs deep, you may find yourself in the midst of a major battle when your heart is given to someone with different beliefs. There is, of course, nothing wrong with dating a non-Christian, just keep in mind that you marry who you date. If this is understood, and you are truly willing to accept and deal with the repercussions, all the more power to you. All we suggest is that you consider a few things before jumping in.
What kind of dilemmas would you face in the future? Can a non-Christian help you spiritually, or will they gradually pull you down? It's easy to compromise your standards and beliefs in order to stay appealing to that person, but is that really being true to yourself? It shouldn't even be an option to alter everything you've based your life around because your beliefs have helped shape you into the person you are, the person that they fell for.
Then there's always the issue of children. What kind of foundation will their lives be built on? Would they be encouraged to attend church and live the principles that you live by, or will they be brought up in the middle of a constant tug-of-war? It general, it just seems to be easier on everyone, especially kids, when both parties follow the same rulebook. Then again, there are those occasional exceptions to the rule.
We've all heard different stories of Christians dating non-Christians who eventually do turn their lives to God. They later marry and have strong, happy relationships with values centered on Christ. Or, there are those couples that just don't let religion get in the way. Both are willing to compromise and let the other partner have their freedom to worship and live in a way that suits them. As promising as it sounds, though, it's not always realistic. Many couples involved in "dual-faith" relationships will find themselves buried in conflict and heartache at some point, causing them to break up or divorce.
It's to be expected that meeting new people, especially people that you're compatible with, is going to be challenging. But, consider carefully whether short-term gain is worth ending up with the wrong person. Falling in love is easy, but it's hard to imagine ever voluntarily walking away from the relationship because your partner's beliefs contradict your own.
The bottom line is that it's up to you who you date, because you're the navigator of your future. No matter who you end up with, you're bound to run into problems now and then. That just comes with the territory. From there, it's up to you what happens. You'll either choose to stick at it and work through the rough patches, or you'll decide it's too hard and back out. If it makes your decision any easier, just remember this advice: when a Christian and a non-Christian jump into a relationship, the scales are uneven and likely to tip! http://www.christianmingle.com/campaign.html?cat=link&src=articlecityCOM&adid=sitecat&newurl=index.html
About The Author
Tracy Jones was raised in a large and loving Christian family. As the president of her church’s youth program, Tracy was always very active in local and international ministries. Throughout school, she was a faithful member and treasurer of the local chapter of the Fellowship of Christian Athletes. Tracy graduated from Florida State University in 1987 and has earned 18 years of business experience. Since 1997 she has spent her career building business in the technology industry with Yahoo!, Inc. and was recently recruited by Spark Networks to build the online Christian community through the ChristianMingle personals service. http://www.christianmingle.com/campaign.html?cat=link&src=articlecityCOM&adid=sitecat&newurl=index.html
Online Dating With Friends: 5 Ways Your Friends Can Help You Find Love Online
by: Alison Edwards
Finding someone to date is easier with a little help from your friends so if you have joined a dating site (or are thinking of joining a dating site) then talk with your friends and see if they would like to sign up with you.
Just because online dating is carried out in the comfort of your home, it doesn’t mean you can’t involve your friends, as you would normally do if you were looking to meet someone at work or in a pub.
So the next time you talk to your friends instead of asking if they want to go to the pub, ask if they would like to join you on a dating site so you can find love online together; the chances are they were thinking about it anyway but needed some encouragement from a friend.
Here are 5 ways enlisting the help of a friend can help you both find love online:-
1. It doubles your opportunities of meeting someone; your friend could recommend someone to you who he or she has met online and knows would be a perfect match for you … or vice versa!
2. Two pairs of eyes are better than one so why not make a night of it and invite your friend over to yours so that you can log on and search for a date together.
3. Arrange a chat room date with your friend and other members; together you will be able to judge their characters and decide whether you want to take it further.
4. If you both meet someone online, arrange a double date. Not only is there safety in numbers but everyone will be in the same boat when you date “offline”.
5. Finally, the majority of singles seek a second opinion before they date someone so if you are both registered with the same dating site, it’s easy to ask your friend to log on and let you know what they think of someone before you pass on personal information or arrange a date.
With so many positive ways your friends can increase your online dating opportunities, start calling your friends today!
About The Author
Alison Edwards runs http://www.SnappyDates.com a UK based dating site.
SnappyDates.com is currently offering a free 4 day trial of its full membership to anyone who recommends a friend. Both friends will be entitled to the free trial. This offer will expire on the 14th November 2005 and is subject to conditions. For more details, please send an email to Alison@SnappyDates.com.
Copyright © 2005 Dorado Enterprises Limited - All Rights Reserved. Permission to reprint this article is granted if the article is reproduced in its entirety, without editing, including the bio information. Please include a hyperlink to http://www.SnappyDates.com when using this article in newsletters or online.
Finding someone to date is easier with a little help from your friends so if you have joined a dating site (or are thinking of joining a dating site) then talk with your friends and see if they would like to sign up with you.
Just because online dating is carried out in the comfort of your home, it doesn’t mean you can’t involve your friends, as you would normally do if you were looking to meet someone at work or in a pub.
So the next time you talk to your friends instead of asking if they want to go to the pub, ask if they would like to join you on a dating site so you can find love online together; the chances are they were thinking about it anyway but needed some encouragement from a friend.
Here are 5 ways enlisting the help of a friend can help you both find love online:-
1. It doubles your opportunities of meeting someone; your friend could recommend someone to you who he or she has met online and knows would be a perfect match for you … or vice versa!
2. Two pairs of eyes are better than one so why not make a night of it and invite your friend over to yours so that you can log on and search for a date together.
3. Arrange a chat room date with your friend and other members; together you will be able to judge their characters and decide whether you want to take it further.
4. If you both meet someone online, arrange a double date. Not only is there safety in numbers but everyone will be in the same boat when you date “offline”.
5. Finally, the majority of singles seek a second opinion before they date someone so if you are both registered with the same dating site, it’s easy to ask your friend to log on and let you know what they think of someone before you pass on personal information or arrange a date.
With so many positive ways your friends can increase your online dating opportunities, start calling your friends today!
About The Author
Alison Edwards runs http://www.SnappyDates.com a UK based dating site.
SnappyDates.com is currently offering a free 4 day trial of its full membership to anyone who recommends a friend. Both friends will be entitled to the free trial. This offer will expire on the 14th November 2005 and is subject to conditions. For more details, please send an email to Alison@SnappyDates.com.
Copyright © 2005 Dorado Enterprises Limited - All Rights Reserved. Permission to reprint this article is granted if the article is reproduced in its entirety, without editing, including the bio information. Please include a hyperlink to http://www.SnappyDates.com when using this article in newsletters or online.
Online Dating – 11 Reasons To Go Online For Love
by: Alison Edwards
Where do you go when you are looking for love?
Are you considering joining an online dating site but not sure it’s for you?
Let me tell you how I first discovered online dating and why I firmly believe it fits in with our modern day lifestyles.
A couple of years ago online dating still had a stigma attached to it. Although people were using the internet as a method of dating, they did not discuss it with friends or colleagues for fear of coming across desperate.
I recall a friend of mine who was initially embarrassed to tell me she had joined an online dating site. At the time, I was rather surprised as she was an attractive girl who would be considered quite a catch. However, after chatting to her I completely understood why she had resorted to this method of dating; she was simply tired of meeting timewasters who were not interested in committing to a relationship.
Whilst she had no desire to date some of the men who contacted her, there were quite a few she was interested in and she began a dating spell to make any "singleton" jealous. She then struck up an online relationship with someone who lived 100 miles from her. After exchanging many emails and chatting on the telephone, she decided to meet him. Obviously, the distance didn’t make the relationship ideal but the spark was there and she enjoyed 6 months dating someone with similar interests, shared romantic weekends together and had a fantastic holiday. Although he didn’t turn out to be “the one”, when I asked if she regretted joining an online dating site her answer was "Definitely not!" Her view was that if she hadn’t joined an online dating site, those 6 months would have been spent moaning about meeting the same timewasters in the same old haunts and wondering "what if". She was simply being proactive in her search for love; after all life is far too short!
If you’re not convinced online dating is for you, here are 11 reasons why I think online dating has its advantages:-
1. You don’t have to wait until the weekend to meet someone.
2. You don’t have to get dressed up for a night "online". Wear whatever you feel comfortable in at home.
3. If you work unusual hours online dating fits in with your schedule. You can log on at any time of the day to suit you; there is always someone online waiting to chat.
4. If you start chatting to someone and then decide they are not what you are looking for, put them back in the net gently and choose another. There are plenty of fish in the sea!
5. If you are tired of seeing the same old faces when you go out, there are people of all age groups all across the country waiting online to meet someone.
6. If you are new to an area online dating is a great way of meeting people whether it's for friendship or dating. If you meet a few people online in your area, you can arrange a get together for you all rather than meeting on a one-to-one basis.
7. If all of your friends have settled down or you have recently become single what better way to meet new someone quickly than to go online and meet more singles!
8. Anonymous messaging and chat rooms let you flirt to your heart’s content without any embarrassment or getting tongue-tied.
9. You will probably find out more about someone online before you arrange a date with them than you would if you had met them in a bar. Online dating usually makes people more cautious about who they choose to date and in this day and age that can’t be a bad thing!
10. We now live and date very differently to previous generations where the traditional place to meet people was in nightclubs, parties, at work or through friends. By joining an online dating site you are not excluding these avenues but simply extending your opportunities of meeting someone.
11. Finally, 1 month’s membership costs less than a night out and gives you hundreds of opportunities to meet your perfect partner – every night!
With so many positive reasons to go online for love, finding your perfect partner has never been easier. Try it out for yourself and please let me know how you're doing.
About The Author
Alison Edwards runs http://www.SnappyDates.com a UK based dating site. SnappyDates.com is an active community where people of all ages meet looking for a relationship, friendship and even marriage!
When people want Snappy Results, they try SnappyDates! Registration is free.
Copyright © 2005 Dorado Enterprises Limited - All Rights Reserved. Permission to reprint this article is granted if the article is reproduced in its entirety, without editing, including the bio information. Please include a hyperlink to http://www.SnappyDates.com when using this article in newsletters or online.
Where do you go when you are looking for love?
Are you considering joining an online dating site but not sure it’s for you?
Let me tell you how I first discovered online dating and why I firmly believe it fits in with our modern day lifestyles.
A couple of years ago online dating still had a stigma attached to it. Although people were using the internet as a method of dating, they did not discuss it with friends or colleagues for fear of coming across desperate.
I recall a friend of mine who was initially embarrassed to tell me she had joined an online dating site. At the time, I was rather surprised as she was an attractive girl who would be considered quite a catch. However, after chatting to her I completely understood why she had resorted to this method of dating; she was simply tired of meeting timewasters who were not interested in committing to a relationship.
Whilst she had no desire to date some of the men who contacted her, there were quite a few she was interested in and she began a dating spell to make any "singleton" jealous. She then struck up an online relationship with someone who lived 100 miles from her. After exchanging many emails and chatting on the telephone, she decided to meet him. Obviously, the distance didn’t make the relationship ideal but the spark was there and she enjoyed 6 months dating someone with similar interests, shared romantic weekends together and had a fantastic holiday. Although he didn’t turn out to be “the one”, when I asked if she regretted joining an online dating site her answer was "Definitely not!" Her view was that if she hadn’t joined an online dating site, those 6 months would have been spent moaning about meeting the same timewasters in the same old haunts and wondering "what if". She was simply being proactive in her search for love; after all life is far too short!
If you’re not convinced online dating is for you, here are 11 reasons why I think online dating has its advantages:-
1. You don’t have to wait until the weekend to meet someone.
2. You don’t have to get dressed up for a night "online". Wear whatever you feel comfortable in at home.
3. If you work unusual hours online dating fits in with your schedule. You can log on at any time of the day to suit you; there is always someone online waiting to chat.
4. If you start chatting to someone and then decide they are not what you are looking for, put them back in the net gently and choose another. There are plenty of fish in the sea!
5. If you are tired of seeing the same old faces when you go out, there are people of all age groups all across the country waiting online to meet someone.
6. If you are new to an area online dating is a great way of meeting people whether it's for friendship or dating. If you meet a few people online in your area, you can arrange a get together for you all rather than meeting on a one-to-one basis.
7. If all of your friends have settled down or you have recently become single what better way to meet new someone quickly than to go online and meet more singles!
8. Anonymous messaging and chat rooms let you flirt to your heart’s content without any embarrassment or getting tongue-tied.
9. You will probably find out more about someone online before you arrange a date with them than you would if you had met them in a bar. Online dating usually makes people more cautious about who they choose to date and in this day and age that can’t be a bad thing!
10. We now live and date very differently to previous generations where the traditional place to meet people was in nightclubs, parties, at work or through friends. By joining an online dating site you are not excluding these avenues but simply extending your opportunities of meeting someone.
11. Finally, 1 month’s membership costs less than a night out and gives you hundreds of opportunities to meet your perfect partner – every night!
With so many positive reasons to go online for love, finding your perfect partner has never been easier. Try it out for yourself and please let me know how you're doing.
About The Author
Alison Edwards runs http://www.SnappyDates.com a UK based dating site. SnappyDates.com is an active community where people of all ages meet looking for a relationship, friendship and even marriage!
When people want Snappy Results, they try SnappyDates! Registration is free.
Copyright © 2005 Dorado Enterprises Limited - All Rights Reserved. Permission to reprint this article is granted if the article is reproduced in its entirety, without editing, including the bio information. Please include a hyperlink to http://www.SnappyDates.com when using this article in newsletters or online.
Change Your Dating Reality
by: David LeVine
I want to share with you the key to finding the Right One and getting married the quickest way possible -- guaranteed.
It's not hard, doesn't cost any money, and takes only about one minute a day. You already have all the tools you need to make it happen, you just need to apply this for one minute every day.
What will guarantee that you find the Right One and get married the quickest way possible? A key ingredient is to believe in yourself, and I am going to show you why it works, and how to do it the right way.
The word "manifest" means to turn a thought into a thing. Everything you see around you -- cars, houses, the table, a pen -- were all once thoughts that someone turned into a real object. When you manifest something, you make it appear in the real world. Now as a single person, you have an idea that you want to get married, and what you want to do is manifest that idea into reality, to be standing under the marriage canopy.
A key underlying force that allows you to manifest an idea into reality is to believe you can do it. We can all relate to times where the situation looked bad, but through sheer will and determination people beat insurmountable odds.
Consider a life-and-death scenario of being out in the wilderness alone. Gordon Smith, an instructor who spent 26 years in the U.S. Army's Special Forces, says: "If you have a guy with all the survival training in the world who has a negative attitude, and a guy who doesn't have a clue but has a positive attitude, I guarantee you that the one with the positive attitude is coming out of the woods alive. Simple as that." http://www.fastcompany.com/magazine/69/fighttosurvive.html
This heightened motivation of people in dire situations appears to be the force that gets them through. But that's not the whole story. The amazing thing is what happens behind the scenes, the real secret to success. There is a stronger metaphysical component at work here.
Remember the Six Day War and the Yom Kippur War? The tiny State of Israel was surrounded by hostile Arab countries numbering over 200 million people. What happened? The Arab countries should have wiped Israel off the map in short order. Instead, Israel beat them all. Miracle!
We call it a miracle when we see a dramatic change in reality. In those wars we see an obvious change of reality -- how God changed a pending defeat into complete victory.
On a smaller scale, you can use the same principle to guarantee that you will get married quickly. Let's explain:
When you believe in something, the sheer force of your will can give God reason to support your goal. Based on your belief, God actually changes reality to make the thing that you want come about. For example: You want to get married, and if you believe with total conviction that you will find the Right One, then God can take your will and actually change reality to cause your soul mate to come to you.
Let's look at the source of this idea, a story in the Talmud (Taanit 8a) about "The Weasel and the Pit." In the story, a young man promised to marry a certain woman. She asked: "Who will be the witness to this pledge?" The only things in the area at the time were a pit, and a weasel walking by. With no other option and in all sincerity, the young man said that the weasel and the pit should be the witnesses.
Time went by, and the young man forgot his pledge. Then he began experiencing serious hardships -- each time involving a weasel or a pit. In the end, he realized why these things were happening, and resolved to keep his pledge. He married the woman, and the misfortunes stopped.
Rabbi Chaim Shmulevitz gives insight on how this works. Obviously, the weasel and the pit have extremely limited powers. Yet when the young man initially designated them to be his witnesses, God took his sincerity into account and actually changed the reality to give the weasel and the pit the ability to uphold the promise.
The same principle is true for you. If you really believe in something, God may change reality so that it comes about.
However, this powerful idea is a double-edged sword. Just as it can work to your benefit, it can be to your detriment by bringing about something that is bad for you. Let's say you meet a really great person on a date, and decide that you absolutely, positively must marry this person.
In reality, though, you may be temporarily infatuated with this person, and in fact they are really bad for you -- and marrying them will be a disaster. Yet if you will it hard enough, and are over-insistent, it is possible that God will allow you to marry that wrong person.
That's why, when you are dating, you should always ask God to help you marry the "right person" and not any specific person.
To summarize, there are two ways you can use this principle positively:
1) Believe in yourself.
If you truly believe that you will find the Right One and get married, then God can change the reality to make it happen.
2) Ask God to bring you the Right One.
The key here is to ask for "the Right One," and not "that one."
On a practical level, you need to make your belief real, by manifesting this idea -- everyday, once a day, for one minute.
Here's how to do it:
1) Say out loud: "I am ready to get married now. I am ready to meet him/her today. I am committed to being a giver in the relationship, rather than a taker."
2) Make one small effort to find them: Check for the newest members on a dating website. Call a matchmaker. Signup for a Speed Dating event. Call a friend and tell them what you are looking for.
Small, consistent steps is the key to success. "By the inch it's a cinch, by the yard it's hard." Meaning, if you take one small action every day, your small efforts turn out to be significant over time. You don't need to work hard, just be consistent.
The more consistent you are, the more you reinforce your belief. By saying positive statements and making small efforts, you send a bigger message to God, who can make it happen.
One of my mom's favorite sayings is, "Think big, be big." And it is very true.
"Think marriage, get married."
About The Author
David LeVine
Your search is ending! Now there is no more excuse to put off meeting – and winning – your own soul mate. No more miserable dates. Learn the 10 Ways How to Marry the Wrong Person: http://www.WarmWisdomPress.com/Dating/
I want to share with you the key to finding the Right One and getting married the quickest way possible -- guaranteed.
It's not hard, doesn't cost any money, and takes only about one minute a day. You already have all the tools you need to make it happen, you just need to apply this for one minute every day.
What will guarantee that you find the Right One and get married the quickest way possible? A key ingredient is to believe in yourself, and I am going to show you why it works, and how to do it the right way.
The word "manifest" means to turn a thought into a thing. Everything you see around you -- cars, houses, the table, a pen -- were all once thoughts that someone turned into a real object. When you manifest something, you make it appear in the real world. Now as a single person, you have an idea that you want to get married, and what you want to do is manifest that idea into reality, to be standing under the marriage canopy.
A key underlying force that allows you to manifest an idea into reality is to believe you can do it. We can all relate to times where the situation looked bad, but through sheer will and determination people beat insurmountable odds.
Consider a life-and-death scenario of being out in the wilderness alone. Gordon Smith, an instructor who spent 26 years in the U.S. Army's Special Forces, says: "If you have a guy with all the survival training in the world who has a negative attitude, and a guy who doesn't have a clue but has a positive attitude, I guarantee you that the one with the positive attitude is coming out of the woods alive. Simple as that." http://www.fastcompany.com/magazine/69/fighttosurvive.html
This heightened motivation of people in dire situations appears to be the force that gets them through. But that's not the whole story. The amazing thing is what happens behind the scenes, the real secret to success. There is a stronger metaphysical component at work here.
Remember the Six Day War and the Yom Kippur War? The tiny State of Israel was surrounded by hostile Arab countries numbering over 200 million people. What happened? The Arab countries should have wiped Israel off the map in short order. Instead, Israel beat them all. Miracle!
We call it a miracle when we see a dramatic change in reality. In those wars we see an obvious change of reality -- how God changed a pending defeat into complete victory.
On a smaller scale, you can use the same principle to guarantee that you will get married quickly. Let's explain:
When you believe in something, the sheer force of your will can give God reason to support your goal. Based on your belief, God actually changes reality to make the thing that you want come about. For example: You want to get married, and if you believe with total conviction that you will find the Right One, then God can take your will and actually change reality to cause your soul mate to come to you.
Let's look at the source of this idea, a story in the Talmud (Taanit 8a) about "The Weasel and the Pit." In the story, a young man promised to marry a certain woman. She asked: "Who will be the witness to this pledge?" The only things in the area at the time were a pit, and a weasel walking by. With no other option and in all sincerity, the young man said that the weasel and the pit should be the witnesses.
Time went by, and the young man forgot his pledge. Then he began experiencing serious hardships -- each time involving a weasel or a pit. In the end, he realized why these things were happening, and resolved to keep his pledge. He married the woman, and the misfortunes stopped.
Rabbi Chaim Shmulevitz gives insight on how this works. Obviously, the weasel and the pit have extremely limited powers. Yet when the young man initially designated them to be his witnesses, God took his sincerity into account and actually changed the reality to give the weasel and the pit the ability to uphold the promise.
The same principle is true for you. If you really believe in something, God may change reality so that it comes about.
However, this powerful idea is a double-edged sword. Just as it can work to your benefit, it can be to your detriment by bringing about something that is bad for you. Let's say you meet a really great person on a date, and decide that you absolutely, positively must marry this person.
In reality, though, you may be temporarily infatuated with this person, and in fact they are really bad for you -- and marrying them will be a disaster. Yet if you will it hard enough, and are over-insistent, it is possible that God will allow you to marry that wrong person.
That's why, when you are dating, you should always ask God to help you marry the "right person" and not any specific person.
To summarize, there are two ways you can use this principle positively:
1) Believe in yourself.
If you truly believe that you will find the Right One and get married, then God can change the reality to make it happen.
2) Ask God to bring you the Right One.
The key here is to ask for "the Right One," and not "that one."
On a practical level, you need to make your belief real, by manifesting this idea -- everyday, once a day, for one minute.
Here's how to do it:
1) Say out loud: "I am ready to get married now. I am ready to meet him/her today. I am committed to being a giver in the relationship, rather than a taker."
2) Make one small effort to find them: Check for the newest members on a dating website. Call a matchmaker. Signup for a Speed Dating event. Call a friend and tell them what you are looking for.
Small, consistent steps is the key to success. "By the inch it's a cinch, by the yard it's hard." Meaning, if you take one small action every day, your small efforts turn out to be significant over time. You don't need to work hard, just be consistent.
The more consistent you are, the more you reinforce your belief. By saying positive statements and making small efforts, you send a bigger message to God, who can make it happen.
One of my mom's favorite sayings is, "Think big, be big." And it is very true.
"Think marriage, get married."
About The Author
David LeVine
Your search is ending! Now there is no more excuse to put off meeting – and winning – your own soul mate. No more miserable dates. Learn the 10 Ways How to Marry the Wrong Person: http://www.WarmWisdomPress.com/Dating/
A Beginners Guide To Online Dating - 5 Great Tips!
by: Jonathan White
Did you know that two out of five single people in the UK now use some kind of on line dating service? That's 40% of all singles! Unfortunately, the percentage of these people who actually find a real romance as a direct result of their site memberships is very low - probably less than 10%.
Why is this? Well, it's true that some sites are better than others; they have more traffic, they are better to navigate; they just 'work' whilst others just don't. But what really matters is how you use a site when you actually sign-up to one. Take my word for it, unless you take the five simple steps that I'm about to outline, you may as well do something more productive with your time than join a singles site. What I'm about to say may sound obvious and rather simplistic, but you'd be surprised at how many people don't bother doing the 'obvious'. So here goes...
1. Create A Great Profile. This is the most important aspect of your dating site experience. Don't just say 'Nice guy seeks nice girl for trips to the cinema' - how boring does that sound? Take the time to say something about yourself, your lifestyle, your interests and the type of person you're hoping to meet. And remember to sound happy, upbeat, fun and confident; if you're miserable about your recent breakup, then keep it to yourself! This isn't the time for modesty; if you think you're pretty darn attractive, then be sure to say so. And humour is a real ice-breaker - if you can make someone laugh, they'll be more likely to want to contact you.
2. Always Upload A Photo. Even if you don't have a very flattering one to hand, you should always post a pic with your profile. Remember, 95% of people on dating sites only search for other members who have bothered to provide a picture of themselves. You want to see what other potential partners look like so it stands to reason that other people will want to know what you look like too. If your photo isn't recent or isn't a great likeness of you, you can always say so in your profile.
3. Be Proactive. Don't just join a site and expect other people to contact you. Make sure you regularly search the database for people with whom you might be compatible and when you find someone you like the look or sound of, write to them immediately and tell them why you think you might be a good fit.
4. Write Great Emails. OK, you've joined a dating site, you've searched for other members who fall within your specified categories, and you've been presented with a page of matching profiles. You're eager to fire off a few emails...but what on earth do you say in them? Re-read the paragraph above about creating a great profile and apply the same rules to the first email that you send to another member. If it looks like you can't be bothered to say much or that you're sending the same one line message to several people, then they probably wont bother to reply. Tell that person a little about who you are and why you think you might both be compatible - respond directly to what you've read in that person's profile - sound interested and interesting and you'll get an email by return - sound boring and downbeat and you'll just be ignored.
5. Check Back With The Site. There are two reasons why you should do this as often as possible. The most obvious one is to keep up to speed with who has joined since you last logged-on; that special someone might have signed-up since you last visited the site so don't miss out. However, what most people don't realise is that when you log-in to a dating site, your profile moves up the listings on the internal search engine which means that you are more likely to be spotted and subsequently contacted by other people. Don't be a stranger to the site you've joined and I recommend that you visit the site at least once a day during the lifetime of your membership.
So there you have it - 5 easy ways to make your chosen dating site work for YOU. Have fun and happy hunting!
About The Author
Jonathan White is the founder of http://www.cupidnights.com a London-only dating site and the most successful geo-targeted site in Europe.
Did you know that two out of five single people in the UK now use some kind of on line dating service? That's 40% of all singles! Unfortunately, the percentage of these people who actually find a real romance as a direct result of their site memberships is very low - probably less than 10%.
Why is this? Well, it's true that some sites are better than others; they have more traffic, they are better to navigate; they just 'work' whilst others just don't. But what really matters is how you use a site when you actually sign-up to one. Take my word for it, unless you take the five simple steps that I'm about to outline, you may as well do something more productive with your time than join a singles site. What I'm about to say may sound obvious and rather simplistic, but you'd be surprised at how many people don't bother doing the 'obvious'. So here goes...
1. Create A Great Profile. This is the most important aspect of your dating site experience. Don't just say 'Nice guy seeks nice girl for trips to the cinema' - how boring does that sound? Take the time to say something about yourself, your lifestyle, your interests and the type of person you're hoping to meet. And remember to sound happy, upbeat, fun and confident; if you're miserable about your recent breakup, then keep it to yourself! This isn't the time for modesty; if you think you're pretty darn attractive, then be sure to say so. And humour is a real ice-breaker - if you can make someone laugh, they'll be more likely to want to contact you.
2. Always Upload A Photo. Even if you don't have a very flattering one to hand, you should always post a pic with your profile. Remember, 95% of people on dating sites only search for other members who have bothered to provide a picture of themselves. You want to see what other potential partners look like so it stands to reason that other people will want to know what you look like too. If your photo isn't recent or isn't a great likeness of you, you can always say so in your profile.
3. Be Proactive. Don't just join a site and expect other people to contact you. Make sure you regularly search the database for people with whom you might be compatible and when you find someone you like the look or sound of, write to them immediately and tell them why you think you might be a good fit.
4. Write Great Emails. OK, you've joined a dating site, you've searched for other members who fall within your specified categories, and you've been presented with a page of matching profiles. You're eager to fire off a few emails...but what on earth do you say in them? Re-read the paragraph above about creating a great profile and apply the same rules to the first email that you send to another member. If it looks like you can't be bothered to say much or that you're sending the same one line message to several people, then they probably wont bother to reply. Tell that person a little about who you are and why you think you might both be compatible - respond directly to what you've read in that person's profile - sound interested and interesting and you'll get an email by return - sound boring and downbeat and you'll just be ignored.
5. Check Back With The Site. There are two reasons why you should do this as often as possible. The most obvious one is to keep up to speed with who has joined since you last logged-on; that special someone might have signed-up since you last visited the site so don't miss out. However, what most people don't realise is that when you log-in to a dating site, your profile moves up the listings on the internal search engine which means that you are more likely to be spotted and subsequently contacted by other people. Don't be a stranger to the site you've joined and I recommend that you visit the site at least once a day during the lifetime of your membership.
So there you have it - 5 easy ways to make your chosen dating site work for YOU. Have fun and happy hunting!
About The Author
Jonathan White is the founder of http://www.cupidnights.com a London-only dating site and the most successful geo-targeted site in Europe.
Dating, Drugs And Alcohol
by: Alan Yarbrough, Ed. D.
Dear Daughter,
I love you so much. I wish that I could always protect you from all dangers, but I know that I can’t. You are growing up and you will have to face dangers and make some decisions on your own. However, I am always here and I can always be a pretty good coach. Please talk to me anytime about any problem you may have, even if you have messed up. I have messed up a few times myself.
I was thinking about my last letter on dating. I would like to continue those thoughts. As I think about the potential dangers to avoid, drugs and alcohol are at the top of the list.
The moment you learn that a boyfriend is using any type of illegal drug, begin choosing the location for the break up. Never let the relationship continue thinking that he will give up the drugs for you. I know this sounds cruel, but it is true. People who are using drugs will look you in the eye and convincingly lie about the drug use. The drug use actually alters their personality. They will lie and do things that they wouldn’t normally do.
When you break up with someone over drug use, it’s a little different situation. As described before, choose a semi-private but public location, such as a restaurant. Take your own transportation and enough one dollar bills to pay for whatever you order, if you are meeting in a restaurant.
Get straight to the issue. If you like him, tell him so. If he has some good points, compliment him. Then tell him that you cannot continue dating him because he uses drugs. Tell him that this is something you decided long ago and that you are sticking to it. If it is true, tell him that you still consider him to be a friend, but you will not date him.
He will try to minimize the drug use. He may say that he doesn’t use drugs that often, and that it’s no big deal, everyone does it. He may say that he can quit anytime he wants to quit. He may try to make you feel guilty for treating him so badly. Don’t believe any of this. Tell him that only he can decide what he wants to do, you wish him the best and that you hope, for his sake, he does decide to give up the drugs. Get up and leave.
In about a week or so he may call to tell you that he is off all drugs and doing great. Congratulate him and tell him that you will not consider dating him until he has been drug free for at least a year. He will then try to make you feel bad for being so unreasonable. He may even try to make you feel guilty for not helping him stay off drugs by continuing the relationship. Without you he may start using drugs again. Don’t buy any of this. Tell him that it is up to him to quit the drugs, not you. You are not responsible for his behavior. By the way, if you are thinking that everyone does some drugs so there is no one left to date, you are hanging around the wrong people.
While we are on the subject, do we need to talk about drug use? I don’t think that we do, but if we do, please, please, let’s talk. You need to know that there is a lot of false information out there, most of which comes from the people who are using the drugs. They make it sound really good. It’s not. I have seen many people lose their family, friends, their productive lifestyle, and sometimes their life, because the drug became number one in their life.
Do you know what upsets me the most? Not a single one of those people set out to destroy their life. I am certain that if these people had known what destruction lay ahead, they would have never taken that first drug that seemed so harmless. In reality, the most dangerous illegal drug is the first one taken. It seems so harmless in the beginning.
In spite of the seriousness of drug use there is a simple solution; simply don’t do it. Don’t take that first drug. No matter how harmless it may seem or how good other people make it sound, don’t do it. Make that decision now, before you find yourself faced with “friends” who are encouraging you to “just try it.” Make the decision now so that you will not have to decide when under pressure. There comes a time when you have to make some decisions about yourself. Make good decisions.
By the way, what would you do if you were with a group of friends and suddenly alcohol or an illegal drug turns up? You may be thinking “Don’t take it.” That’s a good answer, but you must do more in this situation. You must leave the group immediately. If the individual with the drugs or alcohol is caught and arrested, the whole group will be arrested. It is important that you choose wisely when it comes to friends. I will have more to say about this in a future letter.
Let me also mention a few things about alcohol. Alcohol is probably the most dangerous drug available in terms of destruction to individuals and families. The reason it is so destructive is because it is legal, socially accepted and readily available.
For those who have trouble with alcohol, the onset of problems is slow and not even noticeable to the victim. Victims of both drug and alcohol dependence often have their world falling apart all around them, and they are in total denial of the problem and the consequences.
You are under age. It is illegal for you to drink alcohol. This makes my advice simple for now. Don’t do it. It’s that simple. No doubt you will find yourself at a party and there will be alcohol present. Don’t do it, leave immediately. It’s illegal and you could be arrested.
When you become an adult and are living on your own, you will have to decide what you will do about alcohol. Some people can drink socially and never have a problem with alcohol abuse or dependence. Other people begin with social drinking and the use slowly increases until it becomes abuse with the entire range of social, and eventually, physical problems. Which group are you in? I don’t know either.
I want you to know that there is a danger involved. To avoid the danger, the best thing to do is choose to not drink alcohol. This is the safest route and the one that I recommend to you.
As far as dating someone who is using alcohol, it is similar to the drug issue. You are under age. If your date brings alcohol around you, he is putting you in danger. You could be arrested. He is being irresponsible and this is your cue to plan the break up. What if he is older and is of legal age to use alcohol? It doesn’t matter. He is still endangering you. Plan the break up.
What will you do later on, when you are of legal age to drink alcohol, and your boyfriend drinks alcohol? This is not a black and white situation. If you have chosen the safe route and you do not drink alcohol, you may have decided that you will only date people who, like you, do not drink alcohol. If so, this simplifies things.
On the other hand, if you wish to continue dating the person, there may or may not be danger. As discussed earlier, some people have trouble with alcohol and some don’t. If the relationship becomes serious, discuss your concerns with him. If you have a good relationship, an in-depth discussion should not be a problem. Remember that you always have access to professional drug and alcohol counselors who can help you evaluate your situation. Be sure you are comfortable with the situation up front rather than after the marriage.
About The Author
Alan Yarbrough, Ed. D. is a retired psychologist. Letters to my Daughter is a series of heart-touching letters written by a Christian psychologist to his teenage daughter. These letters deliver what most parents want to say, but rarely do. Available at http://www.pricelessebooks.com or http://www.amazon.com.
Dear Daughter,
I love you so much. I wish that I could always protect you from all dangers, but I know that I can’t. You are growing up and you will have to face dangers and make some decisions on your own. However, I am always here and I can always be a pretty good coach. Please talk to me anytime about any problem you may have, even if you have messed up. I have messed up a few times myself.
I was thinking about my last letter on dating. I would like to continue those thoughts. As I think about the potential dangers to avoid, drugs and alcohol are at the top of the list.
The moment you learn that a boyfriend is using any type of illegal drug, begin choosing the location for the break up. Never let the relationship continue thinking that he will give up the drugs for you. I know this sounds cruel, but it is true. People who are using drugs will look you in the eye and convincingly lie about the drug use. The drug use actually alters their personality. They will lie and do things that they wouldn’t normally do.
When you break up with someone over drug use, it’s a little different situation. As described before, choose a semi-private but public location, such as a restaurant. Take your own transportation and enough one dollar bills to pay for whatever you order, if you are meeting in a restaurant.
Get straight to the issue. If you like him, tell him so. If he has some good points, compliment him. Then tell him that you cannot continue dating him because he uses drugs. Tell him that this is something you decided long ago and that you are sticking to it. If it is true, tell him that you still consider him to be a friend, but you will not date him.
He will try to minimize the drug use. He may say that he doesn’t use drugs that often, and that it’s no big deal, everyone does it. He may say that he can quit anytime he wants to quit. He may try to make you feel guilty for treating him so badly. Don’t believe any of this. Tell him that only he can decide what he wants to do, you wish him the best and that you hope, for his sake, he does decide to give up the drugs. Get up and leave.
In about a week or so he may call to tell you that he is off all drugs and doing great. Congratulate him and tell him that you will not consider dating him until he has been drug free for at least a year. He will then try to make you feel bad for being so unreasonable. He may even try to make you feel guilty for not helping him stay off drugs by continuing the relationship. Without you he may start using drugs again. Don’t buy any of this. Tell him that it is up to him to quit the drugs, not you. You are not responsible for his behavior. By the way, if you are thinking that everyone does some drugs so there is no one left to date, you are hanging around the wrong people.
While we are on the subject, do we need to talk about drug use? I don’t think that we do, but if we do, please, please, let’s talk. You need to know that there is a lot of false information out there, most of which comes from the people who are using the drugs. They make it sound really good. It’s not. I have seen many people lose their family, friends, their productive lifestyle, and sometimes their life, because the drug became number one in their life.
Do you know what upsets me the most? Not a single one of those people set out to destroy their life. I am certain that if these people had known what destruction lay ahead, they would have never taken that first drug that seemed so harmless. In reality, the most dangerous illegal drug is the first one taken. It seems so harmless in the beginning.
In spite of the seriousness of drug use there is a simple solution; simply don’t do it. Don’t take that first drug. No matter how harmless it may seem or how good other people make it sound, don’t do it. Make that decision now, before you find yourself faced with “friends” who are encouraging you to “just try it.” Make the decision now so that you will not have to decide when under pressure. There comes a time when you have to make some decisions about yourself. Make good decisions.
By the way, what would you do if you were with a group of friends and suddenly alcohol or an illegal drug turns up? You may be thinking “Don’t take it.” That’s a good answer, but you must do more in this situation. You must leave the group immediately. If the individual with the drugs or alcohol is caught and arrested, the whole group will be arrested. It is important that you choose wisely when it comes to friends. I will have more to say about this in a future letter.
Let me also mention a few things about alcohol. Alcohol is probably the most dangerous drug available in terms of destruction to individuals and families. The reason it is so destructive is because it is legal, socially accepted and readily available.
For those who have trouble with alcohol, the onset of problems is slow and not even noticeable to the victim. Victims of both drug and alcohol dependence often have their world falling apart all around them, and they are in total denial of the problem and the consequences.
You are under age. It is illegal for you to drink alcohol. This makes my advice simple for now. Don’t do it. It’s that simple. No doubt you will find yourself at a party and there will be alcohol present. Don’t do it, leave immediately. It’s illegal and you could be arrested.
When you become an adult and are living on your own, you will have to decide what you will do about alcohol. Some people can drink socially and never have a problem with alcohol abuse or dependence. Other people begin with social drinking and the use slowly increases until it becomes abuse with the entire range of social, and eventually, physical problems. Which group are you in? I don’t know either.
I want you to know that there is a danger involved. To avoid the danger, the best thing to do is choose to not drink alcohol. This is the safest route and the one that I recommend to you.
As far as dating someone who is using alcohol, it is similar to the drug issue. You are under age. If your date brings alcohol around you, he is putting you in danger. You could be arrested. He is being irresponsible and this is your cue to plan the break up. What if he is older and is of legal age to use alcohol? It doesn’t matter. He is still endangering you. Plan the break up.
What will you do later on, when you are of legal age to drink alcohol, and your boyfriend drinks alcohol? This is not a black and white situation. If you have chosen the safe route and you do not drink alcohol, you may have decided that you will only date people who, like you, do not drink alcohol. If so, this simplifies things.
On the other hand, if you wish to continue dating the person, there may or may not be danger. As discussed earlier, some people have trouble with alcohol and some don’t. If the relationship becomes serious, discuss your concerns with him. If you have a good relationship, an in-depth discussion should not be a problem. Remember that you always have access to professional drug and alcohol counselors who can help you evaluate your situation. Be sure you are comfortable with the situation up front rather than after the marriage.
About The Author
Alan Yarbrough, Ed. D. is a retired psychologist. Letters to my Daughter is a series of heart-touching letters written by a Christian psychologist to his teenage daughter. These letters deliver what most parents want to say, but rarely do. Available at http://www.pricelessebooks.com or http://www.amazon.com.
Getting Back In The Dating Game
by: John Alanis
I have bad news for you--if it hasn't already happened, some day a woman is going to break your heart. Yep, if you're alive, you're male, and you like women, some day one is going to break your heart. Although it can be mitigated, it can't ever be completely avoided, and how you respond to it will determine your success with dating women.
What I'm going to do today is tell you how to get back into the dating game--many guys screw this up, either jumping right back in and getting into the good ol' rebound relationship, or waste their lives mooning over the one that got away.
The first thing to realize is, no matter how much you use my dating strategies, if your relationship with a woman ends in a way you don't want it to (and this may range from her dumping you to her dying in a car accident), you're going to feel some pain, maybe some anger. You can't avoid that, so just accept it.
The worst of it will last about three weeks (sometimes more), and then it will begin to slowly dissipate. During these three weeks do NOT sit around and mope. Occupy your mind with massive action--work your ass off to make more money, hit the gym hard, do whatever you can to grab onto these powerful emotions and harness them. I've known many men who've started great businesses after dating a woman who figuratively kicked them in the teeth. Why? They harnessed their emotions and turned them towards creative means.
During this time I don't recommend you even think about dating or women. Sports, business, guy stuff, hobbies are all fine, but forget about women--they'll be there soon enough. The other thing to avoid is hatred. Be pissed off at what happened, but don't put it on her personally--you never know when she might come back.
After the initial feelings have dissipated a bit, you want to slowly start bringing women back into your life. I don't mean dating or anything like that, I just mean starting conversations with women. Talk to waitresses, bank tellers, saleswomen, and try to create initial attraction. Don't follow up, just get used to briefly creating attraction with all women. Do this for at least a month.
By this time the pain will be dissipating day by day--it'll still be there, but it will be less. The thing to do next is to start turning the initial attraction into meetings--coffee works best. Here you'll want to amplify that spark of attraction, and look for the opportunity to spend more time with her.
You should not be meeting or dating women who are looking for a serious relationship at this point. You want to meet women who are bright and fun, and who are out to have a good time. Nothing lessens pain more than having fun with a few great women, re-acclimating yourself to being in their company. Stay with this step as long as you want--I know a few knuckleheads who are blissfully "stuck" at this step, and that's OK.
Now you're to the point where you can decide for yourself if you're ready for something more serious. You've built a great foundation for yourself--you turned pain into creativity, learned how to create attraction for women, had some great dating adventures with some great women, and have the CHOICE of where to proceed next. Sounds a heck of a lot better to me than chasing some dumb rebound relationship or spending your life moping over the "one." She ain't the one, just the "last one" and YOU get to choose the "next one!" Take it from the King, the best cure for pain is planned action--you just might discover you came out ahead in the end.
About The Author
John Alanis, "The King of Let 'em Come to You", is author of the "Women Approach You" system at http://www.womenapproachyou.com. His blog is at http://www.johnalanis.com.
I have bad news for you--if it hasn't already happened, some day a woman is going to break your heart. Yep, if you're alive, you're male, and you like women, some day one is going to break your heart. Although it can be mitigated, it can't ever be completely avoided, and how you respond to it will determine your success with dating women.
What I'm going to do today is tell you how to get back into the dating game--many guys screw this up, either jumping right back in and getting into the good ol' rebound relationship, or waste their lives mooning over the one that got away.
The first thing to realize is, no matter how much you use my dating strategies, if your relationship with a woman ends in a way you don't want it to (and this may range from her dumping you to her dying in a car accident), you're going to feel some pain, maybe some anger. You can't avoid that, so just accept it.
The worst of it will last about three weeks (sometimes more), and then it will begin to slowly dissipate. During these three weeks do NOT sit around and mope. Occupy your mind with massive action--work your ass off to make more money, hit the gym hard, do whatever you can to grab onto these powerful emotions and harness them. I've known many men who've started great businesses after dating a woman who figuratively kicked them in the teeth. Why? They harnessed their emotions and turned them towards creative means.
During this time I don't recommend you even think about dating or women. Sports, business, guy stuff, hobbies are all fine, but forget about women--they'll be there soon enough. The other thing to avoid is hatred. Be pissed off at what happened, but don't put it on her personally--you never know when she might come back.
After the initial feelings have dissipated a bit, you want to slowly start bringing women back into your life. I don't mean dating or anything like that, I just mean starting conversations with women. Talk to waitresses, bank tellers, saleswomen, and try to create initial attraction. Don't follow up, just get used to briefly creating attraction with all women. Do this for at least a month.
By this time the pain will be dissipating day by day--it'll still be there, but it will be less. The thing to do next is to start turning the initial attraction into meetings--coffee works best. Here you'll want to amplify that spark of attraction, and look for the opportunity to spend more time with her.
You should not be meeting or dating women who are looking for a serious relationship at this point. You want to meet women who are bright and fun, and who are out to have a good time. Nothing lessens pain more than having fun with a few great women, re-acclimating yourself to being in their company. Stay with this step as long as you want--I know a few knuckleheads who are blissfully "stuck" at this step, and that's OK.
Now you're to the point where you can decide for yourself if you're ready for something more serious. You've built a great foundation for yourself--you turned pain into creativity, learned how to create attraction for women, had some great dating adventures with some great women, and have the CHOICE of where to proceed next. Sounds a heck of a lot better to me than chasing some dumb rebound relationship or spending your life moping over the "one." She ain't the one, just the "last one" and YOU get to choose the "next one!" Take it from the King, the best cure for pain is planned action--you just might discover you came out ahead in the end.
About The Author
John Alanis, "The King of Let 'em Come to You", is author of the "Women Approach You" system at http://www.womenapproachyou.com. His blog is at http://www.johnalanis.com.
Dating Profile – does it really make so much sense?
by: Marina Zhilenkova
Dating Site can be compared with a baker's and confectioner's. Why so? In the same manner as you see a delicious cake and decide if you will eat it a site gives an impression to the site visitors. These are profiles that make a dating site so delicious. There are so many examples but is so difficult to create your own successful dating profile. There are a few important concepts to remember.
No one even keeps the fact that pictures are the first thing anyone ever looks at in a dating profile. What people have written comes second. Will someone contest this opinion?
Successful picture lets you stand out of the enormous number of profiles at the dating site. Remember this is truly a "first impression" and you get only one chance. No doubt that your standards should be as HIGH as possible! Critical eye is so important when selecting any images to put into the site. Make sure that the pictures you show have the ability to amaze those potential visitors who will see you. Successful picture literally makes users slobber. Who never dreamt about that?
Of course, you can be a really foxy in a real life but if your profile is shabby the users – potential admirers will remember the worst of you. Just throw away bad pictures and leave only those ones that really reflect your personality in the most terrific manner. I would advise you taking two good photos of you - a headshot and a full length shot to show your ability to portray different characters, age ranges and importantly personality!
One more point to consider: not just photos attract users. One of our clients shared his opinion with me and you know I completely agree with him: “I’m always on search for the perfect profile – one that has a picture and killer essay attached. I know that there’s no such thing as a perfect person, but I do think you can find a perfect profile.”
Learn to write a successful notice, i.e. dating welcoming message. Creating a profile is more a psychological work than just automatic throwing your ideas without much thought. Examples would be of great help for you. Do not be lazy to spend some time viewing other profiles before posting.
Statistics show that too much of a good thing, is not a good thing! Avoid text that is too lengthy and multiple photographs of the same activity. Be short-spoken and vivid in your words. Say the most you can with as little as possible. Focus on highlights and advantages instead of tedious details. Do not open all your details and remember secrets always attract more than openness.
Any comments? It would be great to discuss them with you.
Marina Zhilenkova
http://www.online-datingsoftware.com/
About The Author
Marina Zhilenkova is a Senior Sales Manager specializing in Dating Software online sales and writing about Dating and Relationships. Ambitious and self-criticizing, tending to self-education. Check up her latest article and other ones at http://www.pilotgroup.net/support/knowledge/
P: 888-228-8440 (toll free)
http://www.pilotgroup.net/support
WWW.PILOTGROUP.NET (Solutions for e-Business)
Dating Site can be compared with a baker's and confectioner's. Why so? In the same manner as you see a delicious cake and decide if you will eat it a site gives an impression to the site visitors. These are profiles that make a dating site so delicious. There are so many examples but is so difficult to create your own successful dating profile. There are a few important concepts to remember.
No one even keeps the fact that pictures are the first thing anyone ever looks at in a dating profile. What people have written comes second. Will someone contest this opinion?
Successful picture lets you stand out of the enormous number of profiles at the dating site. Remember this is truly a "first impression" and you get only one chance. No doubt that your standards should be as HIGH as possible! Critical eye is so important when selecting any images to put into the site. Make sure that the pictures you show have the ability to amaze those potential visitors who will see you. Successful picture literally makes users slobber. Who never dreamt about that?
Of course, you can be a really foxy in a real life but if your profile is shabby the users – potential admirers will remember the worst of you. Just throw away bad pictures and leave only those ones that really reflect your personality in the most terrific manner. I would advise you taking two good photos of you - a headshot and a full length shot to show your ability to portray different characters, age ranges and importantly personality!
One more point to consider: not just photos attract users. One of our clients shared his opinion with me and you know I completely agree with him: “I’m always on search for the perfect profile – one that has a picture and killer essay attached. I know that there’s no such thing as a perfect person, but I do think you can find a perfect profile.”
Learn to write a successful notice, i.e. dating welcoming message. Creating a profile is more a psychological work than just automatic throwing your ideas without much thought. Examples would be of great help for you. Do not be lazy to spend some time viewing other profiles before posting.
Statistics show that too much of a good thing, is not a good thing! Avoid text that is too lengthy and multiple photographs of the same activity. Be short-spoken and vivid in your words. Say the most you can with as little as possible. Focus on highlights and advantages instead of tedious details. Do not open all your details and remember secrets always attract more than openness.
Any comments? It would be great to discuss them with you.
Marina Zhilenkova
http://www.online-datingsoftware.com/
About The Author
Marina Zhilenkova is a Senior Sales Manager specializing in Dating Software online sales and writing about Dating and Relationships. Ambitious and self-criticizing, tending to self-education. Check up her latest article and other ones at http://www.pilotgroup.net/support/knowledge/
P: 888-228-8440 (toll free)
http://www.pilotgroup.net/support
WWW.PILOTGROUP.NET (Solutions for e-Business)
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